Healthy Hoo Hoo
I think of my vagina in the same way I do my Jeep’s transmission: I know it’s there but for the most part I don’t think about it, I actively use it a couple of times a week, and it thoroughly aggravates me when it leaks every month.
Much like my Jeep, I also have never really given much thought to its upkeep, aside from the requisite yearly tune-up. That’s why Healthy Hoo Hoo, a purported all-natural feminine cleansing product, intrigued me. Have I been blissfully ignorant to the maintenance of my flower, my cha-cha, my fill-in-the-inappropriate-euphemism-here for 35 long years?
According to the experts, probably not.
During my last pap smear, I casually asked the doc for her opinion of feminine hygiene products (which was a feat of great bravery, considering I had heard all of the prior patients’ symptoms and diagnoses through the paper-thin waiting room walls). It was, frankly, exactly what I expected.
“All you really need is soap and water,” she insisted. “Some detergents can actually strip you of your natural bacteria and lead to bacterial vaginosis or yeast infections.” Fun. But, of course, I had to find out for myself – yeast infections be damned!
Unlike traditional “feminine douches” (I’ve never seen one in the flesh, so to speak, but I imagine that it’s some sort of hose and bag set up) this cleansing “system” is comprised of three products: a package of wipes that resembles the wet naps my mother carries in her purse and two weak-looking cleansers. Since most of my bodily washing is done pre-workday and post-exercise, I took the whole kit and caboodle to the gym one morning to test drive it after a particularly invigorating spin class.
My first impressions
Wipes: Nothing too earth shattering here – damp and lightly scented, but softer than I expected. Did double-duty as makeup remover later in the day – on my face, of course.
Foam Cleanser: Had the subtle, sanitized smell of a hospital floor; also worked as shave gel in a pinch – for my legs, of course.
Gel Cleanser: The scent reminded me of the bastardized drinks I would create out of the remnants of my parent’s liquor cabinet as a kid. For something that’s supposed to be alcohol free, that’s not a good sign. Positives? It lathered fairly well … but so does the mouth of a rabies-riddled dog.
While a product like this may not hurt your business, it’s by no means necessary—and anyway, it’s probably best to leave well enough alone. As my good doctor told me, “If you don’t have any odour, why are you concerned in the first place?” (Which, coincidentally, is the latest bumper stick on my Jeep.)